Where is Our Security?

This last week my work hours doubled, I began training in a new position, and I found myself writing an unexpected additional law school essay. Needless to say, between having to be at work by 6am and other miscellaneous business I went without my scheduled time with the Lord in the morning. Regardless of this, the Lord sought me out during these days with reminders of His love and faithfulness and in response I was prompted to seek Him out in prayer and thought. At the end of this week though, I found myself longing for something. At first I attributed my longing to loneliness and then I attributed it to too much seriousness. In answer to these things Friday night was full of friends and laughter. So much laughter in fact that my cheeks were cramping! The Lord knew that part of what I needed was a little light heartedness and provided it, but even after a night of fun and friendship I found myself wanting and realized that I was longing for Him. His time with me is not dependant on my discipline of meeting with him, He is always with me and His promise is that He will never leave me or forsake me. And I am not dependent on that time to connect with Him because He is everywhere and so He is accessible anywhere. But like a wife who misses her husband when she is out of town on business, I found myself missing the one that gives my life fullness and meaning. I delight in Him and am delighted that He in an act of unmerited favor has chosen to be so taken with me.

There is a delicate balance between missing the person of God and missing the security we find in feeling disciplined. Disciplines are important but they are not the focus. The reality of God's love in our lives should move us to love Him in return, that love should move us to obedience, and that obedience should cultivate disciplines that draw us close to him. However, we should not put misplaced security in our ability to execute those disciplines. I think each of us are tempted to believe that our goodness or holiness come from how disciplined we are in our pursuit of God. It is far less comfortable to acknowledge that we are fully at the mercy of His work in our lives to generate anything that is good and authentic rather than contrived. Our security should be in Christ alone and our focus should be on Him alone. When this is the case, love and obedience flow forth naturally and though business may interrupt our routine it will not steal our relationship. I am thankful that for the first time in my life I was missing the person of God rather then the discipline of being with him, but I am still looking forward to the day when dwelling in His presence characterizes my every moment.

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live,

but Christ who lives in me.

And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God,

who loved me and gave himself for me.

I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law,

then Christ died for no purpose"

Galatians 2:20-21