A Tribute to My Mother

I have been working in retail as a cashier since November. Being a cashier means that I work by Point-of-Sale displays that usually hold magazines that are mostly full of amazing looking food. While I am not sure that the displays are working on our customers, they do work on me seeing as I now own two food magazines that I did not before and am considering buying a third. This past week I decided it was time to try one of these recipes and so I told my mom that I wanted to cook. We figured out a night, decided on a recipe, and I settled in to make steak tips in red wine butter sauce with a side of asparagus and Parmesan potatoes. The magazine boasted that each recipe took 30 minutes. Since my mom had to work that night and not everything goes right the first time you tackle a new recipe, I started cooking at 4:30 in hopes of being done in an hour. After chopping, searing, grating, baking, and seasoning 6:20 rolled around with my mom leaving for work hungry and me working to pull the last bits together only to discover that by the time the potatoes came out of the oven the meat needed to go back in because it was cold. By the time my two younger brothers, my dad and I sat down to eat I had decided two things. One is that the magazine lied. Delicious, yes! 30 minutes, no! And two, I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was go to my room. As my brother began to clean up the kitchen for me, I realized that this is what my mom has been doing our whole lives with one huge difference: she has done it knowing that after dinner there is laundry and after that bathes and after that dishes and after that work and after that sleep and after that we do it again. I was tired after one two hour stretch of what my mom has been doing for 29 years now. If the extent of her commitment stopped there it would still be amazing but it doesn't because my mom has also been committed to discovering adventures of all kinds as well. She is the master discoverer of unconventional fun which has included float trips to the river, visits to a ghost town turned bed and breakfast, hobo breakfasts in parking lots, and the list goes on. My mom has taught me that mothering is a constant call to loving and giving and though she is often tired at the end of the day, she is also joyous at the rewards of her commitment which include children and a husband that truly delight in her and desire to bless her in return. There seems to be no limit to my mother's excellence but before I go to far and misplace the praise it is important to clarify that my mother is the women she is because of the Lord. Because she seeks him and because he is faithful to work in her that she would be more like him. So of all the things that I have listed, what my mother has modeled most is the results of an active, intimate relationship with the Lord. If you are reading this as a mother, take heart! If you are faithful to raise your children according to the Word of God the blessings are many and he will give you strength through every obstacle. If you are reading this in the same position as I am writing it meaning that you are not yet a mother, draw into Jesus for he is what cultivates excellence in all things. If you are my mother, thank you!

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting,

but a women who fears the Lord is to be praised!

Honor her for all that her hands have done,

and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Proverbs 31:30-31

Awe and Humility

Though I wrestle with it, and despise it, I find that I struggle with arrogance every day. It is not the type of puffed up arrogance that is easily noticed by others, rather it is the subtler kind that is detected and confronted by my relationship with Jesus alone. And by subtler I don't mean better because the more I understand it the more I realize that it is the very thing that often stands between me and my King. It is the voice or subtler still the feeling that betrays a belief that "I'm pretty good." That belief can not be taken lightly for it tempts us to fall into religious rigor rather than authentic relationship. It is the thing that can keep us from turning to God altogether. The thing that can keep us from drawing close to him once we are his. The thing that can keep us trapped in mediocrity believing that we know best. The thing that keeps us from fully understanding the greatness and goodness of God. It is the thing that keeps our hearts from beating as one with his as Jesus's did. There is no rationalizing or minimizing its ugliness. More days than not it is the thing I stand before my Heavenly Father guilty of and in need of confessing. The struggle to defeat this belief reminds me of Job. Though Job was a man who sought to please the Lord and as scripture says was "upright before him" (Job 1:1), he was not perfect nor was his response to his trials. In Job chapter 2 it says "In all this he did not sin with his mouth", but it does not mention his heart. I do not believe that the events in Job's life were punishment for sin as some of his friends suggest and God himself denounces in his reply to Job. I do think however, that there is a sin of the heart that is implied in the Lord's response to Job which is that Job did not fully understand the greatness of God or his own smallness but he believed that he did. After the Lord answered Job, Job confessed this, "I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge? Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me which I did not know." Too often my belief that I'm pretty good causes misplaced pride and even faith in my understanding of things. However, when I am faced as Job was with the greatness of God there is no room for foolish arrogance. When I think on all that the Lord has created and I hear the words he spoke to Job, I am moved to the same response as Job. Here is some of what the Lord spoke to Job. I pray it moves each of us to living out each day in awe and humility realizing that our understanding of this world and of God himself is limited and that all we have is a gift.

Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?

Dress for action like a man; I will question you, and you make it known to me.

Where were you when I laid the foundation of the Earth?

Tell me, if you have understanding.

Who determined its measurements- surely you know!

Or who stretched the line upon it?

On what were its bases sunk, or who laid its cornerstone,

when the morning stars sang together

and all the sons of God shouted for Joy?

Or who shut in the sea with doors when it burst out from the whom,

when I made clouds its garment

and thick darkness its swaddling band,

and prescribed limits for it and set bars and doors,

and said, 'Thus far shall you come, and no further,

and here shall your proud waves be stayed?"...

Have you entered into the springs of the sea,

or walked in the recesses of the deep?

Have the gates of death been revelaed to you,

or have you seen the gates of deep darkness?

Have you comprehanded the expanse of the Earth?

Declare, if you know all of this."

(portions of Job 38)

Home

We live in a world of bigger, better, faster, more, on demand, at your fingertips, perpetual gratification. The result of this is an insatiable appetite for entertainment and the development of unanswerable standards. If the graphics were good then they need to be great. If the beat was moving it needs to be compelling. If the scene was powerful it needs to be awe inspiring. If a women is pretty she needs to be gorgeous. If a man is handsome then he needs to be built. We live in a culture that is driven by want but is confused about what it is we want. We try to tame our desire through story and experiences and things, but the reality is that no matter how much bigger and better these things get they will never fill our desire. A movie can make us feel in love for a moment but when the credits roll our want is no more answered than it was before the movie began. At times I think this can feel cruel but the reality is that it is God's unmerited favor and love that compelled him to make us this way. There is only one thing that can fulfill our desire and it is relationship with God. We were created for him and in his kindness he designed us to be aware of our need for him. He never forces our devotion but he reveals himself to us and in us, and every time we try to fill ourselves with anything other than him our hearts reject it as counterfeit and remain wanting. But when we turn to the source of life and invite him to fill us our hearts recognize him as home. He gave you breath and knows you intimately. He hears your thoughts and knows your heart. He knows what he made you for and more than any other he fully appreciates your uniqueness for he made on one else like you. You were made to be one with him and he longs to embrace you. He is everything you need and in him there is no want.