Overexposed

Digital has taken over most of the world of photography at this point, but in the not so distant future, photography used to begin with light sensitive paper or film. This was loaded into the camera and then the photographer with great care, based on their intent and the surrounding circumstances, would decide on the shutter speed and set the ISO. The shutter speed is of utmost importance because the length of time that the shutter is open is the amount of time that the film will be exposed to light. Without any exposure to light the film remains dark and registers no part of an image. As light is added, slowly details are burnt into the film and appear, almost like magic, as the film is developed. The more light is added to the film, the more detail is captured, but this is only true to a point. If the film is overexposed to light, you begin to loose detail again. This time though you don't loose detail in the darkness of the film, you loose the detail to the purest of whites. At first, an overexposed image may maintain details in some areas but not in others. If another shot is taken, and more light is let in, eventually the only visible subject of the photograph is light, because no detail of the image will withstand the exposure to the light. In this world, I hope to be like that overexposed picture, where no detail of me survives the light of the Lord Jesus. Jesus is the light of the world, and as he draws near to us we are exposed and purified until we are like him and mimic his effect in this world. Acts 13: 47 says, "For so the Lord has commanded us saying, 'I have made you a light for the gentiles, that you may bring salvation to the ends of the earth." Our mission as followers of Jesus is to be light in darkness just as he was when on this earth. There is more to this though, and it is that while in this world we are the light of Jesus, in heaven Jesus is our light. There is an amazing heavenly reality that when we go before our holy heavenly Father, Jesus is our light. He enters into us and purifies us from the inside out. First, exposing every sin, and then cleansing us of it until there is no detail left to be seen but him in us. Because of Jesus in us it is our reality before the Father that we are blameless! Colossians 1:21-23 says, "And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him, if indeed you continue in the faith, stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel that you heard." May we remain steadfast in our Lord, and rejoice in the hope of our salvation which frees us from blame; and may we be the light of Jesus in this world. May we be overexposed.

Why fight?

Recently I faced a situation where I was tempted to walk away but was called to address the dishonesty of the situation first. I have often struggled with facing these situations and in the past have not understood what the point of doing so is. Getting what I deserve has never been enough to motivate me to face an intimidating person or situation. And often my love of being loved by people has kept me quiet in conflicting situations. In this latest situation, as I sought the Lord and listened to the input of those around me, I began to ask what I was supposed to be learning. As I prayed the Lord showed me that this issue is one that has deterred me from pursuing law for a long time. Not just the issue of facing intimidating people but the bigger issue of understanding why it is important to do so. In other words, why is fighting injustice in a broken world worth doing? This is the answer the Lord is teaching me. Every situation presents us with an opportunity to stand for what honors the Lord. To choose to do so has two valuable results: it commits me to uphold what is right and it offers others an opportunity to repent and do what is right. Revelation 2:5 says "Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent." Often we see sin but we don't call it that because we assume that it has always been that way; in our hearts we harbor skepticism that removes our responsibility to speak up. But when we do as this verse commands and we "remember where we have fallen from" we are reminded of whose we are, who we were intended to be, and who we could be again if we turn from our ways. There is hope in repentance and freedom in the acknowledgment of our sin. When we stand and fight for what is right we refuse to comply with, and resign to, the reality of sin in our world. We choose hope in the grace that covers our sin, and to hope on behalf of those who have not yet received that grace. This decision to engage in the fight relates to all areas of life, and when faced with the utter brokenness of our world, our lives, our relationships, and ourselves there may be times when we find ourselves asking "What is it that we are fighting for?". I tend to favor Sam Wise's answer from Lord of the Rings "that there's some good left in this world and its worth fighting for." Our feeling when we look at the world around us may be that the good is being crowded out, but the reality based on the scriptures is that that is not so. God's goodness will not be defeated by wickedness. The battle is won, but the fact that there is a battle means that we must fight for those around us just as the Lord left his throne in heaven to fight for us. And our continual strength is the words of our Lord "In this world you will have trouble, but take heart for I have overcome the world!"

Journey to a Vision

For as long as I can remember I have been creative. It's funny the things that qualify you as creative, one of the ones that seemed to have solidified this status was when I made a complete mess of our living room tearing up paper and gluing it down in the pursuit of creating the perfect card for my mother. In high school I loved sculpture and had a teacher who delighted in my work and gave me free reign in his classroom. (Never underestimate the blessing of someone else's delight in you, it is after all a reflection of how the Lord sees you.) This teacher, though the rest of the school thought him a troublemaker, gave me a profound outlet. I enjoyed school, but it was hard for me. When I wasn't in school or at a youth group function I was doing homework or swimming. Where everything else was a challenge, inside this one sculpture classroom I was affirmed and set free to create at will.



After high school I went on to Anderson University where I enrolled as an art major. I was unsure going into this major and my stay there only grew my uncertainty. I was a creative right? So why didn't I fit? The art department at the university I attended required complete commitment. And while everyone else seemed to embrace this standard, I pushed against it, finally informing my professors that I loved art but from then on I was going to bed at mid-night and what wasn't done wasn't getting done. As rules were applied to guide my creativity my passion for it waned and I found myself instead thriving in other classes. Communications, social problems, astronomy were captivating my enthusiasm. At the end of my freshmen year I moved from an art major to a communications major, and was excited to do so.



The beginning of my sophomore year started on the run. I was an RA keeping up with 20 something freshmen and shouldering 18 credit hours. Half way through the fall semester the Lord started putting film on my heart. At first it was just an admission of a love for film. A love of the power and beauty of it. Then it was a thought of maybe going into film. Finally, it was a switch of major. And in a crazy turn of events I was a film production major at Webster University in Saint Louis.



I started in the fall and loved it, but I had one fear that loomed in the background. What if I fail? And I did. As some of my friends can attest to. Our first filming project was a 30 second short story. No audio, just footage. When it came time to view our films mine was 30 seconds of blank film. Black, under-exposed, blank film. As a class we watched all 30 seconds and when all was said and done I had faced my worst fear and found out that it was okay. Found out that I was okay. But for all of my appreciation of film I didn't have the passion that my fellow students did. They worked on films in their spare time. Wrote films in their spare time. Edited films in their spare time. If I didn't do it for a class I didn't do it at all. I admired their passion; wondered where mine was and thought maybe I had gotten something wrong along the way. In my junior year my advisor talked to me about doing film studies. After praying about it and looking into the benefits I thought it was the right thing to do so once again I made the switch. I was now a film studies major and would be graduating in a year.



The best way to put it is that film studies is the bookie side of film. I studied, read about, researched, analyzed, and identified the thematic elements of film. I wrote, presented, and argued the importance of film. And I loved it. I loved writing papers; and I loved the last paragraph where you find a clever catchy way to convince the reader that what they just read carries insight to their life and culture. And still I was missing something. When you are an accounting major you have a vision for what you are going to do after college. I had no idea. I loved what I did and studied but had no idea what to do with it. People asked if I wanted to go to L.A. and break into the film scene and internally I felt like "well, no not really." I believed that film had a great deal of value but when it came to what to do with it I felt misplaced.



One night when I was overwhelmed, crying, and scared my dad asked me if I had ever had a vision. He told me how in all the time I had been in school he had never heard me identify a vision for where I wanted to go, and he challenged me to pray for the Lord to show me a vision for where he wanted me. I started praying and the Lord started moving. I began with research about what people did with my major, and oddly enough (to my way of thinking) a "secret" passion of mine surfaced. Law school; many people with my degree go on to law school. If your thinking what I was your saying something like "Huh?". So I did some more research and found that though the content is very different the skills developed by film studies are the same as those needed to do well in law school. I felt the Lord's encouragement so strongly and all of a sudden things started clicking, and the glory of God shown through like rays of sun through the clouds. All my life I had seen myself as a creative, not with words and presentation, but with clay. And in his great mercy he found a way to equip me without overwhelming me. To ask me for small steps of obedience instead of a large one that I didn't have the courage or faith to sustain at the time. In his sovereignty he equipped me where I was comfortable, affirmed me there, and then challenged me to go where I'm not so comfortable.



I won't tell you all of the details but I am now studying for the LSAT (test to get into law school) and more excited than I can say! I'm working toward getting into law school for next fall and am going to specialize in human rights law.



I was reading in Acts this morning and was amazed by how much it characterizes the journey that the Lord has put me on. It got my attention how many times the Lord called a disciple to somewhere specific but didn't tell them why and the phrase that follows is "and he rose and went." Other times the Lord gives the details and the reason and the picture painted has the potential for glory and danger, and still what follows is "and he rose and went". And each time the result is the revelation of the glory of God. A eunuch declaring the name of Jesus in the desert. A persecutor of the church declaring the name of Jesus and confounding the Jews who knew him to be a former hater of that name. The glory of God shining through because of the obedience of those who trust him. And after these stories this is what is said, "So the church throughout all Judea and Galilee and Samaria had peace and was being built up. And walking in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit, it multiplied" Acts 9:31. Let us be the same. Available to his call, observers of his glory, walking in the fear of the Lord and the comfort of the Holy Spirit. And as we do this may we see his kingdom multiply.