Where is Our Security?

This last week my work hours doubled, I began training in a new position, and I found myself writing an unexpected additional law school essay. Needless to say, between having to be at work by 6am and other miscellaneous business I went without my scheduled time with the Lord in the morning. Regardless of this, the Lord sought me out during these days with reminders of His love and faithfulness and in response I was prompted to seek Him out in prayer and thought. At the end of this week though, I found myself longing for something. At first I attributed my longing to loneliness and then I attributed it to too much seriousness. In answer to these things Friday night was full of friends and laughter. So much laughter in fact that my cheeks were cramping! The Lord knew that part of what I needed was a little light heartedness and provided it, but even after a night of fun and friendship I found myself wanting and realized that I was longing for Him. His time with me is not dependant on my discipline of meeting with him, He is always with me and His promise is that He will never leave me or forsake me. And I am not dependent on that time to connect with Him because He is everywhere and so He is accessible anywhere. But like a wife who misses her husband when she is out of town on business, I found myself missing the one that gives my life fullness and meaning. I delight in Him and am delighted that He in an act of unmerited favor has chosen to be so taken with me.

There is a delicate balance between missing the person of God and missing the security we find in feeling disciplined. Disciplines are important but they are not the focus. The reality of God's love in our lives should move us to love Him in return, that love should move us to obedience, and that obedience should cultivate disciplines that draw us close to him. However, we should not put misplaced security in our ability to execute those disciplines. I think each of us are tempted to believe that our goodness or holiness come from how disciplined we are in our pursuit of God. It is far less comfortable to acknowledge that we are fully at the mercy of His work in our lives to generate anything that is good and authentic rather than contrived. Our security should be in Christ alone and our focus should be on Him alone. When this is the case, love and obedience flow forth naturally and though business may interrupt our routine it will not steal our relationship. I am thankful that for the first time in my life I was missing the person of God rather then the discipline of being with him, but I am still looking forward to the day when dwelling in His presence characterizes my every moment.

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live,

but Christ who lives in me.

And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God,

who loved me and gave himself for me.

I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law,

then Christ died for no purpose"

Galatians 2:20-21

A Tribute to My Mother

I have been working in retail as a cashier since November. Being a cashier means that I work by Point-of-Sale displays that usually hold magazines that are mostly full of amazing looking food. While I am not sure that the displays are working on our customers, they do work on me seeing as I now own two food magazines that I did not before and am considering buying a third. This past week I decided it was time to try one of these recipes and so I told my mom that I wanted to cook. We figured out a night, decided on a recipe, and I settled in to make steak tips in red wine butter sauce with a side of asparagus and Parmesan potatoes. The magazine boasted that each recipe took 30 minutes. Since my mom had to work that night and not everything goes right the first time you tackle a new recipe, I started cooking at 4:30 in hopes of being done in an hour. After chopping, searing, grating, baking, and seasoning 6:20 rolled around with my mom leaving for work hungry and me working to pull the last bits together only to discover that by the time the potatoes came out of the oven the meat needed to go back in because it was cold. By the time my two younger brothers, my dad and I sat down to eat I had decided two things. One is that the magazine lied. Delicious, yes! 30 minutes, no! And two, I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was go to my room. As my brother began to clean up the kitchen for me, I realized that this is what my mom has been doing our whole lives with one huge difference: she has done it knowing that after dinner there is laundry and after that bathes and after that dishes and after that work and after that sleep and after that we do it again. I was tired after one two hour stretch of what my mom has been doing for 29 years now. If the extent of her commitment stopped there it would still be amazing but it doesn't because my mom has also been committed to discovering adventures of all kinds as well. She is the master discoverer of unconventional fun which has included float trips to the river, visits to a ghost town turned bed and breakfast, hobo breakfasts in parking lots, and the list goes on. My mom has taught me that mothering is a constant call to loving and giving and though she is often tired at the end of the day, she is also joyous at the rewards of her commitment which include children and a husband that truly delight in her and desire to bless her in return. There seems to be no limit to my mother's excellence but before I go to far and misplace the praise it is important to clarify that my mother is the women she is because of the Lord. Because she seeks him and because he is faithful to work in her that she would be more like him. So of all the things that I have listed, what my mother has modeled most is the results of an active, intimate relationship with the Lord. If you are reading this as a mother, take heart! If you are faithful to raise your children according to the Word of God the blessings are many and he will give you strength through every obstacle. If you are reading this in the same position as I am writing it meaning that you are not yet a mother, draw into Jesus for he is what cultivates excellence in all things. If you are my mother, thank you!

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting,

but a women who fears the Lord is to be praised!

Honor her for all that her hands have done,

and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Proverbs 31:30-31

Awe and Humility

Though I wrestle with it, and despise it, I find that I struggle with arrogance every day. It is not the type of puffed up arrogance that is easily noticed by others, rather it is the subtler kind that is detected and confronted by my relationship with Jesus alone. And by subtler I don't mean better because the more I understand it the more I realize that it is the very thing that often stands between me and my King. It is the voice or subtler still the feeling that betrays a belief that "I'm pretty good." That belief can not be taken lightly for it tempts us to fall into religious rigor rather than authentic relationship. It is the thing that can keep us from turning to God altogether. The thing that can keep us from drawing close to him once we are his. The thing that can keep us trapped in mediocrity believing that we know best. The thing that keeps us from fully understanding the greatness and goodness of God. It is the thing that keeps our hearts from beating as one with his as Jesus's did. There is no rationalizing or minimizing its ugliness. More days than not it is the thing I stand before my Heavenly Father guilty of and in need of confessing. The struggle to defeat this belief reminds me of Job. Though Job was a man who sought to please the Lord and as scripture says was "upright before him" (Job 1:1), he was not perfect nor was his response to his trials. In Job chapter 2 it says "In all this he did not sin with his mouth", but it does not mention his heart. I do not believe that the events in Job's life were punishment for sin as some of his friends suggest and God himself denounces in his reply to Job. I do think however, that there is a sin of the heart that is implied in the Lord's response to Job which is that Job did not fully understand the greatness of God or his own smallness but he believed that he did. After the Lord answered Job, Job confessed this, "I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge? Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me which I did not know." Too often my belief that I'm pretty good causes misplaced pride and even faith in my understanding of things. However, when I am faced as Job was with the greatness of God there is no room for foolish arrogance. When I think on all that the Lord has created and I hear the words he spoke to Job, I am moved to the same response as Job. Here is some of what the Lord spoke to Job. I pray it moves each of us to living out each day in awe and humility realizing that our understanding of this world and of God himself is limited and that all we have is a gift.

Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?

Dress for action like a man; I will question you, and you make it known to me.

Where were you when I laid the foundation of the Earth?

Tell me, if you have understanding.

Who determined its measurements- surely you know!

Or who stretched the line upon it?

On what were its bases sunk, or who laid its cornerstone,

when the morning stars sang together

and all the sons of God shouted for Joy?

Or who shut in the sea with doors when it burst out from the whom,

when I made clouds its garment

and thick darkness its swaddling band,

and prescribed limits for it and set bars and doors,

and said, 'Thus far shall you come, and no further,

and here shall your proud waves be stayed?"...

Have you entered into the springs of the sea,

or walked in the recesses of the deep?

Have the gates of death been revelaed to you,

or have you seen the gates of deep darkness?

Have you comprehanded the expanse of the Earth?

Declare, if you know all of this."

(portions of Job 38)

Home

We live in a world of bigger, better, faster, more, on demand, at your fingertips, perpetual gratification. The result of this is an insatiable appetite for entertainment and the development of unanswerable standards. If the graphics were good then they need to be great. If the beat was moving it needs to be compelling. If the scene was powerful it needs to be awe inspiring. If a women is pretty she needs to be gorgeous. If a man is handsome then he needs to be built. We live in a culture that is driven by want but is confused about what it is we want. We try to tame our desire through story and experiences and things, but the reality is that no matter how much bigger and better these things get they will never fill our desire. A movie can make us feel in love for a moment but when the credits roll our want is no more answered than it was before the movie began. At times I think this can feel cruel but the reality is that it is God's unmerited favor and love that compelled him to make us this way. There is only one thing that can fulfill our desire and it is relationship with God. We were created for him and in his kindness he designed us to be aware of our need for him. He never forces our devotion but he reveals himself to us and in us, and every time we try to fill ourselves with anything other than him our hearts reject it as counterfeit and remain wanting. But when we turn to the source of life and invite him to fill us our hearts recognize him as home. He gave you breath and knows you intimately. He hears your thoughts and knows your heart. He knows what he made you for and more than any other he fully appreciates your uniqueness for he made on one else like you. You were made to be one with him and he longs to embrace you. He is everything you need and in him there is no want.

A Hug...or is Something Else Needed?

I love being nice. In fact it has been one of my trademarks. Sweet encouraging words and hugs to lift the soul are never far from my heart. Over the years I have gotten comments like, "You are the sweetest person I have ever known.", "You always know the right thing to say.", "Why are you so nice?" I hope that the Lord has used some of this "niceness" to draw others to him but I have recently realized that my niceness has been out of place. It has been offered out of a competing love for the Lord and the world that has left me with niceness. Why niceness? Because it allows me to extend love even when undeserved out of love for the Lord without costing me the worlds love. Niceness is an idol in my life. Jesus never offered a hug when something else was needed. Given that I am unaware of the word "hug" being used in the Bible let me reword it this way, Jesus never offered sweetness at the expense of truth. God said this through the prophet Jeremiah, "Behold, I will pluck them up from their land, and I will pluck up the house of Judah from among them. And after I have plucked them up, I will again have compassion on them, and I will bring them again each to his heritage and each to his land. And it shall come to pass, if they will diligently learn the ways of my people, to swear by my name, 'As the Lord lives,' even as they taught my people to swear by Baal, then they shall be built up in the midst of my people. But if any nation will not listen, then I will utterly pluck it up and destroy it, declares the Lord." Jesus has come but he is God and God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. God does not take sin lightly and he goes to great lengths to move us to repentance, but if as his people we are not speaking truth, and people remain ignorant of the coming destruction, then we are not only not loving we are in fact condemning them in the truest sense of the word. If in light of sin I adopt our cultures words and say "Its alright, everyone makes mistakes." Then I am prizing my comfort above their need for truth. God is love and his love is always extend but it is extended in life saving truth not in face saving pleasantries. Jesus came to save all people but it never looked the same. He appraised the situation and offered what was needed not what was wanted. For the adulterous women he saved her from stoning but told her "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more." (John 8:11). For the repentant Canaanite women who was rejected by the disciples but declared Jesus her master Jesus replied, "O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire." (Matthew 15:28). To the rich young ruler who had dedicated himself to following the law Jesus said, "If you would be perfect, go sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me." (Matthew 19:21). To the pharisees Jesus said, "Now you pharisees cleanse the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside you are full of greed and wickedness. You fools! Did not he who made the outside make the inside also? But give as alms those things that are within, and behold, everything is clean for you." (Luke 11:39-41). And to the money-changers who defiled the temple Jesus "entered the temple and drove out all who sold and bought in the temple, and he overturned the tables of the money-changers and the seats of those who sold pigeons. He said to them, 'It is written, 'My house shall be called a house of prayer,' but you make it a den of robbers." (Matthew 21:12-13). Jesus' desire was for the salvation of these men and yet he did not have a "nice" response to their sin. For each of these people the purpose of his response was to lead them to repentance, to offer them life to the full, to offer them eternity with him. Yet, his responses were bold and required a response from the people they were addressed to. This is the type of love that Jesus spoke of. This is the type of love that he exemplified. And this is the type of love that we are called to. May the Lord forgive me for the times I have offered a hug when something else was needed, and may he give us the strength to speak the truth in love no matter the cost.

Freedom in the Fear of the Lord

I have been reading through Jeremiah and today was amazed at how much the Lord pleads Truth on our behalf. I know that context can illuminate scripture but the Lord has also been reminding me that his word is eternal and in being so it is as applicable today as it was when it was written. In Jeremiah 10 the Lord pleads with his people to acknowledge the emptiness of idols. Here is some of what he says:

"Do not fear them for they cannot do evil, neither is it in them to do good." V. 5

"They are both stupid and foolish; the instruction of idols is but wood!" V.8

"They are worthless, a work of delusion." V.15

As I read this I began to think about the cultural application for us and wondered what the Lord would put in place of wood and silver and gold. Our idols are made by a different kind of craftsmen but they fill our culture. They are made of steel with racing strips. They are towering homes of brick. They are seemingly infinite combinations of liquid anesthetic. They are pills that promise deliverance from our problems. They are other people eager for 5 minutes of fulfillment. They are boxes that promise hours of mental relaxation. They are anything that we are tempted to find our security in believing it to be more concrete than the promises and presence of the living God. Here is what he says about himself:

"But the Lord is the true God; he is the living God and the everlasting king! At his wrath the Earth quakes, and the nations cannot endure his indignation." V.10

"It is he who made the Earth by his power, who established the world by his wisdom, and by his understanding stretched out the heavens. When he utters his voice, there is a tumult of waters in the heavens, and he makes the mist rise from the ends of the Earth. He makes lightening for the rain, and he brings forth the wind from his storehouse!" V. 12-13

There is none like the Lord! There is much in this world that promises deliverance at the cost of our standards and leaves emptiness where the Lord desires fulfillment. There is much that promises security for the price of compromise and delivers desperation. But the Lord is in control of all things and though it may seem that our compromise escapes his attention scripture assures us that it does not. God is love and he is holy. I want to learn to live in awareness of both truths. In his great mercy as I learn to live by his word, the fulfillment of his presence in my life offers strength to turn down more idols that offer counterfeit security. The Lord's heart is only for our good! May we learn and understand the freedom and joy that comes from the fear of the Lord.

Psalm 37

Fret not yourselves because of evildoers;

be not envious of wrongdoers!

For they will soon fade like the grass

and wither like the green herb.

Trust in the Lord, and do good;

dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.

Delight yourself in the Lord,

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;

trust in him, and he will act.

He will bring forth your righteousness

as the light,

and your justice as the noonday.

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;

fret not yourself over the one who

prospers in his way,

over the man who carries out evil devices!

Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath!

Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.

For the evildoers shall be cut off,

But those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land.

In just a little while, the wicked will be no more;

though you look carefully at his place, he will not be there.

But the meek shall inherit the land and delight themselves in abundant peace!

When we are aware of darkness, even overwhelming darkness, this is what carries us! This is the truth that reminds us that in the Lord we can endure anything knowing that it is but a season. Fret not! Trust in the Lord! Delight in the Lord! In just a little while, the wicked will be no more! And on the heels of this, if we truly believe it, regardless of what reality we currently face, there is nothing to do but give thanks. Give thanks to a God that is faithful and good and gracious and holy! A God who did not stoop to accommodating our ugliness but rather made a way for us to be welcomed into his holiness! A God that through his son, chose to make us his beloved!