Psalm 37

Fret not yourselves because of evildoers;

be not envious of wrongdoers!

For they will soon fade like the grass

and wither like the green herb.

Trust in the Lord, and do good;

dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.

Delight yourself in the Lord,

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;

trust in him, and he will act.

He will bring forth your righteousness

as the light,

and your justice as the noonday.

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;

fret not yourself over the one who

prospers in his way,

over the man who carries out evil devices!

Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath!

Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.

For the evildoers shall be cut off,

But those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land.

In just a little while, the wicked will be no more;

though you look carefully at his place, he will not be there.

But the meek shall inherit the land and delight themselves in abundant peace!

When we are aware of darkness, even overwhelming darkness, this is what carries us! This is the truth that reminds us that in the Lord we can endure anything knowing that it is but a season. Fret not! Trust in the Lord! Delight in the Lord! In just a little while, the wicked will be no more! And on the heels of this, if we truly believe it, regardless of what reality we currently face, there is nothing to do but give thanks. Give thanks to a God that is faithful and good and gracious and holy! A God who did not stoop to accommodating our ugliness but rather made a way for us to be welcomed into his holiness! A God that through his son, chose to make us his beloved!

26 and 26 things i'm thankful for

I am 26 today! I'm sure that my parents feel this way more than I can imagine, but my how time flies! What fills my heart is that I am entering my 26th year acutely aware of unmerited blessing in my life. Gifts from the loving Father and Savior who chose to be my Beloved and to make me his beloved; I will spend my life thankful for the privilege!

Here are 26 things I am thankful for:
1. A redeemed family that fills the walls of this simple house with love, laughter, and memories.
2. Parents who are leaving a legacy of love, forgiveness, repentance, and pursuit of the most high God.
3. The privilege of brothers! I am forever thankful for you guys Ryan, Michael, and Jon. You all have brought great joy and comfort to my life.
4. Brothers of a different kind. My brothers in Christ have blessed me and faithfully shown me what godly men look like, not what perfect men look like, but what men whose hearts belong to the Lord look like.
5. Sisters in Christ. I am privileged to have women in my life who pursue the Lord and pursue me in friendship. They challenge me, and uplift me, and I am better because of them.
6. Family that loves and delights in me and goes out of their way to be sure I know it.
7. Situations in my life that are opportunities to see the glory of God as He works to redeem messes I have made and ones that I experience because of this broken world.
8a. A sister-in-law that pursues me in friendship rather than competition. Dana you are a treasure.
8b. My three nieces: Anna, Naomi, and Abby.
9. Dreams.
10. Trust.
11. Hope.
12. Goodness.
13. Faith.
14. People. In all of our brokenness, though we don't deserve such a glorious place in creation, people are what the Lord chose to bestow his image on and it is through people that I see the Lord.
15. Music, sound, expression. The Lord did not have to make us beings of such rich expression but I am so thankful that he did.
16. Trials. They are the playground of an all-powerful God who promises to use all things for the good of those who love him! (Remind me of this if ever I seem to be forgetting:)
17. The unknown. Nothing has brought me closer to the Lord then the season of unknown that I am coming out of, where each day is an opportunity to find contentment in the consistency of his presence and his character.
18. My Grandma, who covers me in prayer and loves nothing better then to spend time with those she loves.
19. Shiloh, my dog.
20. My new room. :)
21. God as my provider. Who could do this better than the author and owner of the heavens and the Earth? (Again, if ever I seem to be forgetting this a reminder is welcome).
22. The gift of the Holy Spirit.
23. Stillness.
24. The breath-taking nature that surrounds us with evidence of a good, loving, and merciful God!
25. Silliness.
26. The above ones are not necessarily in order but this one is purposefully 26th because it has taken all of my 26 years to discover new depths of the grace of God and the gift of Jesus Christ. I pray that each additional year I am granted is marked by further understanding of His depths!

Thanks be to the God and Father of all things! Thanks be to the the Savior Jesus Christ who came and died that we might live and have life to the fullest! Thanks be to Him for every day that we are offered the opportunity to live for him!

His Victory Over Me

Self-righteousness is a struggle for me. An interview goes well or someone goes out of their way to bless me and I immediately have to resist thoughts that betray a belief that these things happen because I deserve them, rather than the truth that our God in his goodness bestows favor where it is not deserved. This is not a denial that work ethic is reflected in reviews. If you work hard, you will likely earn the favor of your boss, which will likely open additional opportunities either now or in the future; but have you ever considered the things in your life that have built your work ethic, character, compassion, inspiration etc? I am tempted daily to claim these things for myself but the reality is that I have not been the author of any of them. They are in my life through grace and by design. My work ethic is the result of a desperate battle with dyslexia that my loving Father determined to bless me with. In all the tears I cried as a child, never was I aware of how such a battle was shaping my character. All good things in me and my life are the result of one of three things: the work of the Holy Spirit, gifts from the Father, or circumstances determined by the Father. The days I live in awareness of this are covered in thankfulness and contentment. But there are days when I choose to live out of an opposite belief that I am deserving of such goodness. These days are characterized by an ugly battle between self-righteousness and insecurity. Those two things may seem an odd combination, but in my experience they are always together. Self-righteousness requires a belief in my own goodness which I know to be false. Consequently, I must fight to out perform myself. A fight that I know I cannot win. But, and praise be to the Lord that in Him there is always a "But", this is not a fight I have to engage. This is a fight where the only appropriate response is the white flag of surrender. Freedom here comes from acknowledgment of my sin and surrender to the only one who can defeat it. And He has defeated it. His victory stands even in the moments when my conviction fails. Even in the moments when my heart looses its footing and finds itself between feeling entitled and feeling ugly, unable, and unwanted. His victory reigns over me now and forever more!

The Lord is good! A stronghold in the day of trouble;

He knows those who take refuge in him.

Nahum 1:7

The Lord is Good, Let All the Earth Rejoice!

Until May of this year I was working as a Teacher's Assistant. When the school year ended I was offered a contract for the next school year but felt distinctly that the Lord did not want me to sign it. Though I had prayed about it and felt confident of what the Lord wanted, I struggled to follow through with resigning. I had talked to my supervisor about the possibility and she had recommended that I not resign until the end of summer so that I would have insurance coverage as long as possible. This made practical sense, but I knew that this practical route was not the same as following the Lord in faith believing that He would take care of me. I shared with the Lord that I would feel better able to resign if I knew that I had insurance coverage some how. Within that week my parents insurance called us to let us know that if desired, they would extended my insurance coverage until my 26th birthday in November. At that, I knew that the Lord had answered and I submitted a letter of resignation to my supervisor. In the months since then I have been looking for a job. Some weeks more faithfully than others. I have submitted resume after resume, done interview after interview, and requested application after application all to no avail. But recently my uncle called me to inform me that the Lowes in our area was hiring. I went online and filled out the application. Within a couple of days I was contacted for an interview and as of Friday morning I am a Lowes employee! What's more amazing is that though I hold a part-time position, Lowes offers all staff a full benefits package. Which means that The Lord perfectly arranged things so that when my parents insurance runs out on November 14th my Lowes insurance will kick in. That is more than enough to draw my eyes heavenward in gratitude, but in addition Lowes offers tuition reimbursement and the option of transferring between store locations both of which are particularly important to me given that I am in the middle of applying to law school. In all the time that I have been looking for a job never could I have arranged these details or foreseen their possibility. Only the all-knowing, all-powerful, amazing God of love that we serve is capable of such mercies. He is trustworthy and greatly to be praised!

Self Preservation to Brave Determination

"We are called to move from self preservation to brave determination"

Beth Moore

I am not one who watches a lot of TV. In fact, for the most part I don't even have access to a TV, a characteristic of my life that I enjoy when I am surrounded by people. But recently the Lord has provided me with some house sitting jobs as a means of income, these homes usually come with two things: TVs and a lot of alone time. Sometimes the issue is about using good judgement as to what I am watching, but more often for me the challenge is to turn it off at all. The presence of a TV becomes an instant defense against aloneness. Self preservation kicks in and entertainment becomes my distracting companion. Ironically, this companion chosen to distract me from being alone, draws me into greater alonenss as I find myself ignoring calls from friends and offers of outings. I find myself up late, out of bed late, tired, and generally unproductive. It occurred to me as I thought about this this morning that this is the result of so many of our efforts at self preservation. Self preservation arises in us when we feel threatened, fearful, insecure, or vulnerable and give into those feelings. In this world the ability to survive at the expense of hardened hearts is celebrated. But the Lord calls us to something more powerful and freeing and frightening than that. He calls us to admit those feelings and rest in his love. He does not leave us without armor, but nor does He lie to us and tell us that the source of that armor is internal strength. In fact, He says just the opposite. He says, "Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest." He says, "In my strength your weakness is made perfect." He says, "Come to me and you shall walk and not grow weary." And He says, "Do not fear! For I am with you!" Aloneness? There is no such thing for a daughter or son of the most high God. But strength comes only from him; all other types of strength are counterfeit and leave us empty and hard hearted. We must turn to him instead of our methods of self preservation with our weakness. We must take heart knowing that we are not alone! Knowing that we are loved. We have so many entertaining diversions available to us to drown out our fears, but if we take them up on their offer we will never be free. If however, we turn to our faithful Father then we are free indeed! So I pray for you and for me, that we move from self preservation to brave determination in the Lord.

It Never Crossed His Mind!

"...to burn their sons and daughters in the fire, which I did not command, nor did it come into my mind." Jeremiah 7:31

I have been reading in Jeremiah, and when I first read this verse it seemed odd but important so I read it again. In context, the Lord is reflecting on the ways in which his people have turned from him. He talks about how they have built high places to other gods and then this verse appears where he describes what they have done at these high places: they have sacrificed their own children. I think for most of us this is an unthinkable act, but as I reflected on this verse something shocking gripped me. The Lord tells his people that He never commanded them to sacrifice their children, nor did it ever cross his mind to ask this of them! The amazing truth hidden in this verse is that He never thought to ask this of them because from the beginning of time He had determined to sacrifice his son instead. They were not wrong to believe that a sacrifice was necessary, but they were wrong to believe that they could purchase their atonement through the blood of their sons and daughters. This atonement could only come from one place and it was from the sacrifice of the perfect son of God. This means that from the moment we sinned, God in his great love for us, had determined to sacrifice his son in our place. It never crossed his mind to require us to pay the appropriate price for our sin! Unlike any other god, He had the right to demand the lives of not only our sons and daughters but ours as well. Instead, He knew from the beginning of time that our creation would require the life of his son and still He created us and chose to bestow his love on us. This truth humbles me as I consider how many times I have begun my day choosing to believe the lie that I am not valuable; or the number of times in my life that I have questioned God's good intentions toward me. If ever you find yourself believing this, remember that the Lord chose to create you knowing the cost to himself and his beloved son. Never did it cross his mind to leave you to your sin or its appropriate punishment. Rather, from the beginning he ordered all of history for the benefit of your atonement. For the benefit of his reunion with his precious children!

To Save a Life

Last night I watched a movie called To Save a Life. The movie is well done and addresses a lot of things, but the one that stands out is judgment. It displays various sides of this issue all of which stem from the judgment that another person is not worthy. The most evident example is given through the social shunning of a high school kid who has a limp. No one knew how much pain he was in, not because it wasn't evident, but because they had judged him unworthy long before sympathy had a chance to cross their minds. It is tempting for me to think that I have done well in this area. The Lord's work in my life and placement of me in other's lives has drawn me close to people with disabilities and unpopular people, and I have been tremendously blessed by them. Still yet, I can't help but think that there are those that I have missed in my business. The movie shows another kind of judgment though, one I know that I am guilty of. The judgment of popular people. In high school they are literally the popular kids. In college they may be the athletes or the charmers. After college they may be the ones with good jobs that seem to have it made. Often, they are the "beautiful people" regardless of the stage of life. I must confess that these are the people that I am most guilty of judging. I have watched them more times than I can count, and though the words have never left my mouth, things like fake, idiot, hotshot, liars have all crossed my mind. I have looked at them and judged their character long before I looked in their eyes. I have envied them without even considering their pain. I have written them off as "one of those" on first sight. For this, I confess that I have been wrong and I ask forgiveness. Our Lord never judged anyone based on appearances, he looks at the heart, and with his presence in us we have the opportunity to do the same. May we be like him and judge all who we come in contact with to be worthy based on his love for them.

"...For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance,

but the Lord looks on the heart."

1 Samuel 16:7